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Archive for January, 2011

Pictures of my commute

Boys

Sometimes I imagine that I’ve lost you
and hold that grief like my breath for
as long as I can in my lungs just
so that I can remember I haven’t, &
thereupon feel the force of your still
existing like a sea wave a sea wave
that knocks the wind out of me
with a stun-joy-crush whose cells have been
mineralized by grief like petrified wood
and I must rush to smother you in
your warm sleepy sweaty little boy beds
where I am dismantled by the urgent rawness
of my desperate love for you, you who
died today, leaving another boy in your place,
almost exactly the same but one day older,
I can tell, so the now real grief is excruciating
and I am unraveled, and ended,
and the baton rolls to the next better me, he
who will wake fortified by a nightsleep crushed by
your wiggly warm little incubating bodies
that snuck into our bed in the midnight
like a sea wave like a sea wave like a sea wave.

Africa